What’s Good Today? Giving the Heisman to Emotional Vampires!

What impact does a first impression really have? Is it true that you never get another shot at a first impression? Probably. But you can – and do – get another chance for a “first” interaction. What I mean is that every time you encounter someone, even someone you see regularly, it’s an opportunity for a new, or first, interaction.

Why am I talking about first impressions and interactions? Because we’ve all met that person who sucks the life out of you. You know the type: the one you greet with a simple “What’s up?” or “How’s it going?” and they immediately hit you with a long list of grievances – “This sucks!” “That sucks!” “Everything sucks!” These people are emotional vampires. And they’re exhausting. Truly, they are utterly and completely exhausting, and you undoubtably know one of them.

So, what do you do with an emotional vampire? You give them the Heisman! But here’s the key – you do this by changing how you interact with them. By adjusting your approach, you are metaphorically giving them the Heisman and stiff-arming their negativity. You are not literally shoving them to the ground with a vicious stiff arm (even if you really want to).

Now, many of you might have heard me say “What’s good today?” instead of the usual “What’s up?” And some of you might have even been in a session I have facilitated where I explain why I prefer this greeting. If you haven’t heard the story, let me sum it up: After enough negative responses to the simple and generic “How’s it going?” I decided to be more intentional with my words. “What’s good today?” became my go-to phrase. I’ve made it clear that I’m not asking rhetorically – I genuinely want to know what’s good. I have used this strategy for years because it has been so successful, and impactful. It shifted my perspective, and in turn, it shifted the perspective of the person I was talking to.

So, let me ask you: why does your perspective matter? Or better yet, do you believe your perspective matters? When I ask if it matters, I mean in terms of what you can achieve and how you influence the world around you. I believe it does! This isn’t just about some abstract idea – this is something I’ve seen play out in real life. When I started asking “What’s good today?”, everything changed. It mattered.

Let’s take this a step further: What can a positive first interaction accomplish in a relationship? Before I dive into that, let’s make sure we’re on the same page about what I mean by “positive.” I’m not talking about some over-the-top, bubbly greeting that feels like something out of a bad Hallmark movie. If that’s your style, great! But if not, don’t force it. What I’m talking about is honest positivity – something that feels grounded and real. We’re all human, so if the only thing you can come up with is “I woke up today,” that’s fine! It’s real, it’s honest, and it’s a start. On the flip side, if you have something genuinely great to share, even better! The goal is to say something positive that helps steer the conversation away from negativity and its vampire-like drain on emotional energy.

If you make a habit of this, things will change – your outlook, your interactions, and even your relationships. Your first interactions won’t be built on a foundation of negativity, ready to crumble at any second. Instead, your interactions will be grounded in something that provides structure, stability, and support – a positive first interaction – that can weather the storms of life. Yes, you’ll still face challenges, obstacles, and tough times. But when your foundation is built on positive first interactions, you’re more likely to push through those challenges without the bottom completely falling out.

At the end of the day, we all have our struggles – things that are difficult or even soul-crushing. But when it comes to getting better, is it more helpful to engage in a contest of who’s had it worse, or to simply exchange something positive before diving into the tough stuff? By starting with the good, even when life isn’t perfect, you’ll set yourself up for stronger, more resilient relationships – and that can make all the difference.